I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
