I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
