There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
