____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize