well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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