Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
