thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
