everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
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Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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