i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
