hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
