that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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