and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
