Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
