Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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