i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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