I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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