Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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