He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize