Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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