i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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