i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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