Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
