Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
