So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
