I got chris browned last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
