Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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