I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize