i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
