it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
