i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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