sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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