Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize