Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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