who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
