So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!