I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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