Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
