Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids