dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...