it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
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im so drunk with asians
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.