you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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