she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
