I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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