I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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