i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
