her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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