So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
