Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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