i may or may not be watching the land before time
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
