You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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