i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
