its not stalking. its research.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I queefed so loud it echoed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
