at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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