Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
