some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
