do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
