That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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