He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
