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I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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