sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
