When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
