Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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