Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
