I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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