my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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