Im at strip club and am horny
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
