Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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