You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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