I just made out with a guy for $7.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
