guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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