wat bout pragnant strippers??
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
