I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
