I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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