He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
