I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
