return my video game
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
