I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
