you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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