He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
