Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
