everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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