she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
