Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
