I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
