Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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